Ambivalencia

*Scene Thirteen - Downtown [Girl, Interrupted]

DR. WICK: Melvin says you have some very interesting theories about your illness. You believe there is mystical undertow in life. Quick sands of shadows.

SUSANNA: Yeah, and another one of my theories is that you people don’t know what you’re doing.

DR. WICK: Still, you acknowledge there is a problem coping with this quicksand.

SUSANNA: You know, I have a problem coping with this hospital. I wanna leave.

DR. WICK: I can’t do that.

SUSANNA: I signed myself in, I should be able to sign myself out.

DR. WICK: You signed yourself into our care. We decide when you leave. You’re not ready for it, Susanna... Your progress has plateaued. Does that disappoint you?

SUSANNA: I’m ambivalent. In fact, that’s my new favorite word.

DR. WICK: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?

SUSANNA: I don’t care.

DR. WICK: If it’s your favorite word, I would have thought…

SUSANNA: It means, I don’t care! That’s what it means.

DR. WICK: On the contrary, Susanna. Ambivalence suggests strong feelings in opposition. The prefix, as in ambidextrous, means “both”, the rest of it, in Latin, means “vigor”. The word suggests that you are torn between two opposing courses of action.

SUSANNA: Will I stay or will I go?

DR. WICK: Am I sane or am I crazy?

SUSANNA: Those aren’t courses of action.

DR.WICK: They can be, dear. For some.

SUSANNA: Well, then it’s the wrong word.

DR. WICK: No, I think it’s perfect... "Quis hic locus? Quae regio? Quae mundis plaga?: What world is this? What kingdom? What shores of what worlds?" It’s a very big question you’re faced with, Susanna. The choice of your life. How much will you indulge in your flaws? What are your flaws? Are they flaws? If you embrace them, will you commit yourself to hospital for life? Big questions, big decisions. Not surprising you profess carelessness about them.

SUSANNA: Is that it?

DR. WICK: For now.

(Cut. Susanna leaves Dr. Wick’s office and goes down the stairs as Lisa is brought up to Dr. Wick. They take a long look at one another.)